Heroes of Doxy.me: “Nobody Had a Plan”
Before February 24th, Olga Khomenko wondered why none of her friends and family seemed concerned about a Russian invasion. She was in Kyiv when her friend called her at 5:25 in the morning to say Russia was attacking. The next few days were chaos as she and her friends tried to flee west. They spent nights huddled in subways and days stuck in motionless traffic while airstrike sirens filled the air around them.
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Mary:
So could you describe to me what life was like the month before the invasion, what you were feeling, what information you were getting?
Olga Khomenko:
Well, we already were worried. We heard about the Russian troops been gathered on the border and on the Russian border and Belarusian border. So we were kind of already panicking. We can, there was just a noise of people, you know, and just the noise of worrying about this, what might happen. And I could say like I was looking at Kia when I, I consider it home now. Like if, even if I go to many, it’s not, it doesn’t feel like home anymore. I know I’m not living there for that long, but I do love the city. It’s so beautiful. And I remember just driving from office to work or taking sky for a walk, skies, my dog, that’s his name and looking at Kiev and thinking, how could anybody just damage it? It’s just, it’s going to be such a shame if this city will be destroyed even a little bit, because it’s so amazing.
Olga Khomenko:
And maybe I was in a way saying goodbye to it or something like that. Just preparing it on myself. Yeah. And also trying to distract myself from this thought. So it was like forgetting at some point, trying to be blind to the fact that there is a threat and then waking up when I’m faced with the facts that something might actually happen. And we were all worried, my friends, my family, even doxy.me management and we’re kind of preparing a contingency plan. So I could not be ignorant of the fact because I was involved in that and preparation. And actually I’m really happy right now that we did that. But yeah, it was already building up to even a month ago, a month before the invasion, I think not just a month, it started like three months before that. Yeah. We already a feeling or a feeling that something might happen.
Mary:
So there wasn’t a big range of response a month before. Cause I’ve, I’ve read in the paper and even other people I’ve interviewed for this project. They have friends and family who didn’t think it would happen, but all of your friends and family were kind of on the same page as you full of full of dread.
Olga Khomenko:
If I started to talk about it, I was more worried than them. I had to speak to my parents about it. We needed to have a plan because they live in Sumi. So we needed to figure out what we are doing. I’m I’m in key of, or they come into Kiev of incase something happens and well, they’re still in. So my, my dad refused to leave and he was adamant about it from the beginning. He’s not going to leave. And even if something happens, which he, I think we were all hoping that nothing will happen. We were just really wanting to believe, wanted to believe in that, that everything will be okay. And well, my dad probably worried, but he didn’t want to show it that much. And he said, if anything, he’ll join the army, which he tried, but he was not accepted because he’s older. So unfortunately that, I mean all fortunately for us, but he’s just bored at home right now. And doesn’t know what to do with himself. Still doesn’t wanna leave. Yeah. In some way, people were less worried than in Kiev. Hmm. I could say nobody was preparing for that. Everybody knew something’s going on, but nobody had a plan. No one even talked about it. So when I came and talked to them, they had to somehow respond to me. But they were like, oh, you’re just panic, panicking. It’s going to be okay.
Mary:
How are they doing now? Your parents.
Olga Khomenko:
It was spending nights in a common area between the flats inside because it’s a block of apartments building. They don’t go into the basement because it’s too cold. Well, they say they’re okay. They have enough food and water. They prepared. They even have some guests. They go refuel. Sometimes my dad was queuing for two days to review his car. They say they fine. But of course it takes a toll on a human, on a person in their age when they’re on sleep. They constantly worried about me, but other friends in the area because also their friends stayed there just yesterday. My aunt and my nephew left somewhere through the green corridor. And they are now somewhere on the Polish border. I think it’s unclear where theyare right now. But yeah, my parents are fine. And I guess the biggest part of that is due to the fact that I’m here. I’m not in queue anymore. When I was in Kia, my mom was just so panicked and so worried. And when I was driving out of Kiev as well, she would call me like every hour. What’s your update? What’s your date? Because yeah, it was dangerous.
Olga Khomenko:
Right? Right now still they are planning to go and live in the, our summer house and plant do the usual screen planting of the garden. She’s looking forward to that. And this is a big, big reason why they don’t want to leave because they don’t want to leave that routine of there’s something that feels normal.
Mary:
So what, tell me about your life, the law since February 24th, did you, when did you evacuate Kiev and what have your days been? Like?
Olga Khomenko:
I try to evacuate the same day. I was, well, I woke up from a call from my colleague, Alexandra. We were talking just like the same week. If anything happens, what would we do? How what’s her plan? And actually it was Thursday. So there’s a normally would gather in the office, everybody who is in Kiev. I invited to just join in the office this one day a week. When we bring pizza, we just chat because everybody’s remote and they can work from home. There is no pressure to goto the office, but on Thursday we gather everyone and I texted girls like, because it’s a little bit, you could, I could feel like it’s just so unsettling that something might happen. And just to feel comforted, I wanted to bring as many people to the office as I could on that Thursday.
Mary:
Yeah.
Olga Khomenko:
Yeah. And that’s just that it’s not as scary when we’re together. We can still like feel that this is still a normal life. And of course, nobody gets to the office because everyone either evacuated or stayed home. But yeah, Alexandra called me at5:00 AM, I think, or five 30. Yeah. Saying that Allah wake up the worst artists we have to go. And she, the worst, I mean the worst words you could wake up to their shooting were started, get up, get up. And she was just repeating that. And it was like, what, what? And because I was still awake and I guess they felt that this is something’s wrong. Of course, when she was calling in the middle of the night, but I would just didn’t want to believe that. And even in her, in her voice, she was panicked and scared, but I thought she’s laughing or something like this.
Olga Khomenko:
Kind of, you want to think that it’s a joke. I think those were tears in her ways. And well, I started packing and it had no idea how much time I had. I was just running around the flat, just thinking, what do I need to take? Although I had like a, we all had a back prepared, a panic bag with all the documents. We, I mean, we all thought something might happen. Sowe just needed to be ready, but it’s not enough of course, just to grab a bag and you don’t know when you’re coming back or if you ever back home. So I started packing some clothes. I’m packing food for my dog or medicines that I might need, not just the very necessary things, but whatever I might need in the long term as well. Of course, in that state, it was, I dunno, I should have thought better. I should have prepared better. Cause now I just have two hoodies and two pens, no pajama, nothing for four home, whatever I sleep in. I walk in the street as well.
Olga Khomenko:
Anyway. Yeah. So I called my friend. I called my mom. I tried to call other colleagues then when I was packing. So I was back in and calling everybody and a friend who lives just in the same street with me, we were in agreement that if anything happens, I will pick her up with my car because she’s, she doesn’t have any car. And that’s what we did. We met and had to drop her flatmate on the left bank of Kiev on the other side of the river, which is a different way we needed togo. But, well, we couldn’t leave him because there was no transport, nothing new. EV the whole city was awake. All neighbors were also running packing with bags and everybody was panicked. And although I didn’t hear any noise in my area, but I could, like, I could see that. Well, everybody is just in distress.
Mary:
So what time was the first attack?
Olga Khomenko:
I think 5:25
Mary:
On February 24th.
Olga Khomenko:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Mary:
So your friend Alexandra called you minutes afterwards.
Olga Khomenko:
Yeah, actually she hold it. She heard because she was living in an area. Not far from it.
Mary:
Yeah.
Olga Khomenko:
That’s why
Mary:
Could you back up and tell me about the man that you left on the left bank, did you say?
Olga Khomenko:
Yeah. Yeah. It’s a roommate of my friend. Well, they’re renting an apartment together and his not his family, his girlfriend’s family were on the living in 11 bank of the cave has, is like a D is divided by the river. So we, we are living in the right bank of the river and there is a left bank, which is more residential area. He needed to go to his girlfriend and her family to evacuate key of together. Sowe dropped him there and then we got stuck in traffic on the way, crossing the river back to the right bank. And just since we lost so much time, there was a lot of traffic. We were, I was, I don’t know, we were stuck for maybe an hour and a half and we didn’t leave key of yet. It was just in center. We were still in the center and there was no end to the traffic. So we started to like, feel like we weren’t, we didn’t eat anything. Of course we’re hungry. We want to go and use the bathroom. We don’t know what to do. Just two girls in the car and the dog. And, and really felt like we just want to go home.
Olga Khomenko:
Like just, maybe this is such some mistake. Maybe there’s some misunderstanding. Maybe they will solve it in like 24 hours. Who knows who? You just refuse to believe that this is real and we need to go and who knows how much, how long the traffic will take. So I decided to deviate from the route, from the road. And we were in the area where we could actually go to my office, to our office of doxy.me and that’s where we went because we needed to use bathroom and we needed to eat. We need to like a replan recenter just to calm down and think, what are we going to do next? Yeah. That’s Iwas, I, my car was full as well. My tank was full with the fuel, but I already heard that there are really long lines refuel the car. So we will definitely not gonna last long if we’re just standing in traffic.
Mary:
Exactly.
Olga Khomenko:
Yeah. So I did go to the office on Thursday. I was alone without a keys without the access key, nothing because I didn’t prepare, but security let me in. We used what we needed to use, which is we ate and calm down in there and decided to go home. This was the first day
Mary:
Really? Okay.
Olga Khomenko:
We were not ready to live queue because it just felt scary. And we didn’t know, what’s waiting for us when you about the huge lines like cars and just standing on the road. That’s it not, not even moving. So we thought maybe the best way is just to stay and see what happens. But the first night it was a very scary second night, even. Whereas then that first night wasspent in the subway, the bomb shelter, because we heard noises of bombs and something actually blow up very near. Soyeah, we just spend the nights in there on a cold concrete floor.
Mary:
How many other people were there
Olga Khomenko:
A lot, but didn’t go all the way in. We were like in a full year of some way, because El also, we felt like if we go down, down, down with the escalator, there’s only one exit then. And the, probably so many people. So if something happens, we just felt like we will be burned there. So we just thought we’ll stay next to the doors. And yeah, there were 50 people in the four year. And when the sirens were off, well, Sarah is, we’re not going all the time, but there was an air strike possibility like a warning. So they, they would cancel it. Sirens would go off and then we needed to wait in the shelter until the cancellation of this, of the warning.
Mary:
Was there much conversation in the, in the foyer where people just silent?
Olga Khomenko:
Well, some were sleeping somewhere, just talking amongst the, their families. And we were actually making friends too. There was a girl from Sumi accidentally there. She was living nearby, but she’s originally from Soma. So she’s, she wasliving alone and she was just standing alone. So we wanted to like bring her in and give her some confidence that imagine it’s really scary to be alone at this time in this situation. Yeah. And we were talking about talking to other people, how do they know when the warning is canceled? If we can go out, they were watching news for that. So we just kinda like to be, to feel more confident and comfortable. We needed to talk to people.
Mary:
Right. I’m so glad you had your friend with you that probably made a big difference.
Olga Khomenko:
Yeah, it did. Yeah.
Mary:
So the next day, do you return to your apartment, your flat?
Olga Khomenko:
We had done to hub apartment. We returned to her and another person from tsunami was stuck. My friend was stuck in if who came on a work trip and he was just there when this all happened. So he joined us as well. So there were now three of us and yeah, till Lviv, well, actually we spent almost a week traveling to leave.
Mary:
Oh really?
Olga Khomenko:
Yeah. Cause first, well, yeah, I arrived to leave. It’s all a blur now to be honest, so much happened that I cannot, I thoughtI should write this down, but got, got to do that. So the first night we spent in the subway, then the second night was spent at home. It was actually, we felt like it’s not safe to stay in my area because it’s the center and a lot of administration is there. So if it’s targeted, we might get, you know, hurt something. Something might happen in that area. So we left, I asked my boss his, if I could go and hide in his cellar in his house. And he said, yes, definitely. If you need a shelter, please go, go ahead. Because he was already in live. And I think on a Thursday left to, he crossed the border. I left to Poland.
Olga Khomenko:
So yeah, we stayed the second night in the cellar. And the worst thing we were worried about is just murders. I think it’s the same word in English, the looters. So basically, yeah, not even just like bombs and or some shooting, but mostly about looters. For some reason, it was so scary. If we’ve heard from news that there are street fights in Kiev now, not just airstrikes, but also street fights. So there are either Russian troops or from now from Qadira army were in there in key of, but of course, I’m not sure if that was true. There were a lot of fakes going around, but still, still, there was no way for us to know. So we were mostly worried about people coming in the house, you know, I don’t know still things or hurt people or whatever they are up for. And it was that night when we decided like, if this continues, we have to get out of care. It’s Impossible to be under the stress. It’s impossible to sleep like this and just listened to every noise since it’s it was a private house on that street. There were, well, it’s just a private, private houses everywhere. And they have dogs in there. Sosome, if somebody is walking the dog, the dog would bark. And every time the dog barks, we were like something, somebody is coming was just really scared. I said,
Mary:
Meanwhile, your dog was with you this whole time, right?
Olga Khomenko:
Yeah. Yeah. But my dog, luckily, luckily he’s not barking. He’s very quiet. They was good. She’s one of the pluses of him. He’s very active and happy dog. Is this his Labrador? He has a golden retriever attitude, but he’s not barking. He’s not likethat. So yeah, he was with me bringing some comfort. But at the same time, I was worried for him because it was cold inthe way, coldness this seller as well. And I thought, if he’s going to get sick, I don’t know what I’m going to do because inthis situation, this is going to be even worse. If I have a sick dog on my hands and he is allergic he’s he gets sick a lot. Actually we’ve gone through a lot of visits to vet with him. So that would be the worst thing. But luckily, everything wentall right. And so we, on the third day we left Kiev, just checked on Google maps, which road is not blocked like withtraffic, which one is free to go. And it does not involve us crossing the bridge to the left bank because all the bridges were blocked. You could only cross by foot and,
Mary:
And where they blocked to tell me why you think they were blocked.
Olga Khomenko:
Well, there were not letting cars to go anymore because, and as we’ve heard, they were, there were bombs and style just incase of the Russians would be coming from the left rear left side, left bank. They could not, it was one by Ukrainian, military. Yeah. And cars were not allowed to go. And at that point, subway as well, stopped working because subway was only taking people in for the shelter.
Mary:
Wow. So how did you exit the city?
Olga Khomenko:
We went south. Yeah. But when we were on the right side, we were on the right bank. We didn’t have to go on the left. That’s not where we want it to go. That’s east of Ukraine. So we went south, spent the night at my friend’s place in the village. They were really surprised to see a big dog dogs to sleep outside in the village. The dogs are not allowed. It was a big issue. The who brought in the dog in the, into the house, plus they didn’t expect it to be this big. Yeah. Then when Cassie spent two nights there,
Mary:
So after the night there, where did you head?
Olga Khomenko:
With? Start, set up to Lviv. But of course we were not sure how far we will go. Cause there were checkpoints everywhere and they would slow down us a lot because there would be a traffic accumulated in a checkpoints. So we just set off to live, but we didn’t have any like a location where we would reach and sleep. And I was just, we were switching whose whoever was not driving would be checking the map, checking work and with sleep. And Hmm. If there is an issue altar, so all this time, just friends were taking us in. We would be texting. Do you have anybody in this place? And whoever’s free to do like a check. They would call, they would spread the word. We need help. We need somebody to find an apartment for like three people in a dog. And yeah, it was a really nice, like I felt people are so welcoming and if something bad, like this happens just, they would take you in, they would give you food. They would give you even clothes felt proud, like really, really proud to be Ukrainian.
Olga Khomenko:
And the whole kind of, we even have this website. It’s like an Airbnb, but for this, for the worst situation, take the takespeople in. So in each city there are, they write like I have a place for like two people. I can take 15 people it’s like probably school or like they would just make the beds in there. There are shower, there is, we’ll provide food. So it’s called a stock in the way the stock means a shelter just for one or two nights. If you need a place to sleep, you could check that it’s still working for those who want to go.
Mary:
Do you see any changes in yourself now that it’s been almost three weeks?
Olga Khomenko:
I, yeah, I think I I’m able to slip through the night now. There are no sirens. I wake up and of course I check my phonecheck if my mom called on my mom’s sending any message, but I don’t wake up in the middle of the night to do that. Weused to do that through three times, maybe night. I think I am less. I don’t feel that much anger anymore. Of course it’sthere, but I try because I know it’s poisoning me. First of all, it’s making me feel bad. And this hatred that I feel towardspeople who are doing it, it’s first of all, affecting myself, my emotional state and my health. So I am trying to let go ofthat. And I feel, yeah, I feel much better now, but again, feel guilty. It’s like a survivor’s guilt that I am able to sleepnormally in a warm place where, whereas in, in other parts of Ukraine, it’s just terrible. People don’t have any water orelectricity or food for weeks and hospitals been bombed and kids are dying. It’s it’s again, it feels remote right now, but it’sstill, it’s my country. It’s still real.
Mary:
Yeah.
Olga Khomenko:
And I feel like I should maybe do something to help. I’m feeling very helpless at the same time.
Mary:
Okay. Have you found anything that has felt useful to you?
Olga Khomenko:
We go, we went to volunteer at the local hub for volunteers. They, people just a communitarian help comes. There is a central humanitarian hub in Lviv and volunteers would segregate it to, just to, I don’t know, sort, whatever they can be sent further. And it’s hard to explain. So it was just segregating clouds. Yes. For a few hours. Yeah. We would be like separating something that is unusable anymore and something that can be used and look for kids with age difference. You know, we would have a pile for, I don’t know, three to five year olds, then six to seven, something like that. Well, for men, for women pants, clothes, coats, something warm, something light. So we’re just separating that. It felt
Mary:
That did that feel, did that help you feel useful?
Olga Khomenko:
Yeah. Yeah. I felt like I’m physically doing something that might help somebody
Mary:
Olga, what are your feelings and the feelings of your friends about Zelensky?
Olga Khomenko:
Oh, I have my friends. They have very, they have various feelings about that. About him personally, before I was not a fan about the landscape. And I even, when he was given a speech, I would be like, oh my God, this is our president. How can it be? Because I felt embarrassed.
He’s Ukrainian is not very good. He’s a Russian speaking. He used to be a Russian speaking person. So he started taking lessons to be more fluent in Ukrainian and he still makes mistakes. It’s understandable. But yeah, Imean, he used to do it now when this started, I feel nothing but respect honestly. And I’m just, I’m proud of him and I’m really surprised that he became this figure that is holding the whole country and just, I mean, people, so many people rely on him and when he speaks, he is so much more confident now he’s like it’s transformed and even the landscape transformed a lot and he seems to be,
Mary:
Yeah, he seems to be perfectly suited for this situation.
Olga Khomenko:
Yeah.
Mary:
Is there anything else you want to share?
Olga Khomenko:
No, actually I’ve spoken a lot. I feel like I was singing a really long song.
Mary:
So Olga, I just feel very honored that you were willing to share your story. Thank you. Thank you so much. And, and my prayers are with you and my heart is with you.
Olga Khomenko:
Thank you. I appreciate,
Mary:
We all hope you sleep well tonight.